Wings On The Way Down

Hello, love. So I’ve been thinking. Like a lot.
I’ve been thinking about how I’m turning 39 in a few months, and about how I’m not anywhere I expected to be in my life and how I don’t have a retirement plan or a living trust or a fancy 401K, and how I have too many dogs and my house is always a mess and my kids need clean laundry and the lawn needs mowed and there’s that cabinet door that needs fixed, and what if the sky turns black and my nose falls off???
Well, not really that last bit. But you get the idea.
I often feel largely on my own. A single mama on a single income trying to take care of work and life and a house and kids and furbabies. It can get overwhelming being one person responsible for so many things. But I know that’s life, and I know you are dealing with yours, too. And I also know this:
I don’t believe in anything but myself. Because no one is coming to save me. I am my own hero. My own rescuer. And this requires great faith sometimes. And courage.
I’ve never been much of a risk-taker. I’ve always played the safe bets, curbed my impulsivity for the responsible choices. And here’s what I’ve learned:
It doesn’t matter.
Seriously. The outcomes of the safe choices have been just as unpredictable as the outcomes of the more risky ones. And the more risky ones have made me happier in the long run.
Overwhelm leads us to think we are limited. That our reserves are depleted. That we can’t take one more bad day. But I’ve also learned a thing or two about this – we can always do one less thing than we think we have to. And we can always do one more thing than we thought we were capable of.
So, my dear goddess, here is my advice for you today. Do the things you want to do. Take the risks. Buy the shoes. Fill up your soul bucket. Leave the job. Take the one instead that makes your heart sing. Downsize. Simplify. Tell fear to take a hike. When things don’t work, you’ll figure it out.
But I know what you’re thinking. What if I fall?
And my answer to you, my darling, is what if you fly?
Sometimes, my love, you have to just take the leap and grow your wings on the way down.
And I know you will. You have big things to accomplish. BIG.

Hugs and kisses,

~Jomana

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